His name is M

And he is demoted from Not-Gay Boyfriend. He is simply M. A friend.

Oh, one of those days

Yes, one of those days when nothing in particular goes wrong or can be blamed, but seems just crappy nonetheless. I slept poorly, woke up to an email about the human rights group I'm part of which means the start of a shitload of work I hate doing (legal research), didn't finish reading the 50 pages of dense constitutional law for class, went late to my capital punishment class bc a meeting went over time, and just received an email from Not-Gay Boyfriend suggesting dinner at 5 instead of 6 bc he has to be somewhere else at 7:30. Who eats dinner at 5? Who? WHO? That is just the LAST. STRAW. I get it, okay? I GET IT. You're just not that into me! Kee-rist. Go away, Not-Gay Boyfriend, you're annoying me right now.

Feel icky, tired, brain-dead. Mr. Destroyer has also re-entered the stage, with his McDreamy-like*, false intimacy-creating looks and remarks, and -- go away, Mr. Destroyer, you're annoying me right now.

(What I really need to do is swear off all interaction with all blue-eyed men, apparently.)

Also, I bought a ticket for my mother to visit me during spring break. Why do I do these things to myself? Seriously. I need a drink.

-------------
* Patrick Dempsey's character on Grey's Anatomy, a.k.a. the show that jumped the shark in its second season -- I mean, really, a guy with unexploded ordinance in his chest as the catalyst for Shepherd's revelation about Meredith? puh-leez (and by the way, Shepherd started out totally hot but has degenerated into a two-timing sleazoid) -- but that I watch faithfully bc it has some of the best writing and ensemble acting I've ever seen on a show. Also, regardless of what I just wrote, Dempsey's character is hot. And let's not forget Sandra Oh -- holla, KA sista -- whose character's red hot sexuality is defined separate and apart from her ethnicity in a completely natural and believable way. Go Oh! Okay, I'm either going to take a nap now or run off this crazy mood.

I Heart New York

Mr. Stave's surprise birthday brunch for Mrs. Stave was a success -- 12 of Mrs. Stave's friends descended upon Yura and Company on Third Ave., coming from places as far-flung as Philadelphia, Annapolis, Crimson City and Brooklyn.

I zoomed in and out of the City myself, arriving at 10 pm on Friday night and departing on the 5:30 pm Saturday bus back to Crimson City. Upon arriving, I found myself starring in a comedy of errors played out in the subway stations of New York: by not paying attention, I took the F instead of the C and wound up on 7th Avenue, then took the D instead of the B and wound up at 125th Street, where an extremely creepy man? woman? in a tan parka and dirty white boots shuffled past me with dead eyes. Most sad. (But wouldn't Zombies of Harlem be a cool name for a band?)

Finally, I hopped on the right train and landed in front of Fearless T's door, where I was plied with a plateful of Shabbat dinner and told that I could turn the light on if I liked (Orthodox Jews being unable to do the deed themselves on the Sabbath). My original host had begged off earlier on Friday due to an "infection," which turned out to be a lucky thing, since the home of Fearless T (and now, Mr. Fearless T) is a warm, inviting, comfortable, wonderful place. Much like Fearless T herself.

Brunch the next morning was a lovely thing, with Mrs. Stave saying repeatedly, "I can't believe you came here from Crimson City!" and visiting all parts of the 14-person table through the morning. A good number of folks ended up at one friend's nearby apartment for the rest of the afternoon, and I was sorry indeed to leave on my 5:30 bus outta town. The rest of the group went for a walk in the strangely balmy and definitely not forecasted February afternoon.

The bus was fun -- it's a new Chinatown bus service right from the gates of Crimson College to Penn Station, stopping in New Haven at my alma mater. I have to admit, I felt a little verklempt when the bus drove by my old res college. Aw. So long ago. So many memories. So much growing up. And so many good friends, many of whom I saw on Saturday: Mr. Rocks, BC, One-Armed Maggie, and of course, Def and Stave. All of the above are coupled up and moving on up with their careers, and we collectively marveled at the passage of time.

It was a really lovely 24 hours, and New York to me seemed a lovely place, warm to the touch and rife with the deep affection and ease of friendships tested and polished over the years to a soft, burnished glow.

Random shit in my head right now

(1) A few weeks ago, I was apparently on the front page of the law school paper (a pathetic little rag), in a group picture of New Orleans volunteers that the pro bono office had asked me to send in. I mention this because: 1. they didn't credit any of the 5 photos of mine they used (add unprofessional to pathetic), and 2. it spawned this hilarious email from Irina, a classmate and friend who knows about Not-Gay Boyfriend (and pegged him as not-gay from the beginning):

Well, you know absence makes the heart grow fonder, so I am expecting major fireworks on Tuesday. When I saw him today, I thought, "oh it's [hk]'s dude."

Honestly, I have a good feeling about this. I think he saw your pic in the [school paper], and thought to himself, “Self, not only is this chick hot, but she is also a do – gooder. Must up my meds and ask her out.”

Still dying of laughter.

(2) At the office today, wrote up a draft response to the opposition's interrogatories (questions you are required to respond to before a trial starts -- even if the answer is "I object to your question"), which means I cut and pasted from other similar documents, and hunted for some answers in a very long deposition transcript. Have no idea what I'm doing, but it sounds impressive, don't it?

(3) Have recently realized that I have unusually sharp incisors, which means that several times a year, I bite the inside of my lip and cause a sore. And since the area is inflamed, I of course close my teeth on it accidentally again and again. The whole left side of my face hurts right now. Ow.

(4) Speaking of hurting, I saw the doctor yesterday for a hypochondriac's check-up -- I wanted to rule out any physical basis for the fatigue and the blues and the general malaise lately I've been experiencing. As suspected, my lungs sound clear, my BP is fine, my eyes and ears check out, and I seem quite healthy. I can go get a blood test to rule out anemia, but I could also just eat a steak, I suppose.

(5) I was recently invited into a reading group by a woman who is scarily elegant and pulled together in dress, looks, and attitude. We've shared a couple classes together (and are now in two classes together this term), but I was still somewhat baffled by her invitation. I can't help but be flattered, though, and RSVP'd yes, pleased. We're going to read two books, by two Supreme Court justices, and discuss 'em. And so I found myself reading the newest book by Breyer on the train today, and marveled at it. It's actually kind of interesting and not too difficult to follow (unlike the Court's decisions).

Does this mean I am interested in con law? Or law in general? Or the Supreme Court (where Double M's brother-in-law just interviewed a few days ago for a clerkship -- good for him)?

Uh, no. But I do occasionally get a glimpse of the student I could be -- if only I were interested in the subject enough.

(6) Just started reading a really great book this week, actually: Walking with the Wind, a history of the civil rights movement as seen by one man, John Lewis. Very entertaining so far, and written in such a personal, engaging story-telling style. If all histories were written like this, I wouldn't be dragging myself through the background reading for my Puritans class. It's not actually badly written, and I do think I just like the US civil rights period better, but given a choice...

(7) Okay, exhausted (slept terribly last night, don't know why). Off to the c.i. tomorrow evening, for a very quick errand. Back Saturday night. Hopefully I will be good and read on the bus. (Oh, the bus! I did get so used to taking the shuttle and cabs all around in the fall, when I was doing the firm interviews.)

February Blues

February is the bluest month. It's hard to explain to people who don't live in New England. I couldn't have imagined it before moving out East from Cali some 12 years ago. January was extremely mild, weather-wise, with some freakishly warm days in the 50s, even. So the bitter cold that descended upon us this month has been even more of a shock. When every step out of doors entails fighting a biting wind that literally takes your breath away and brings tears to your eyes, it's hard to motivate to go out of doors. And being cooped up does no one good.

I talked briefly with Def and Stave Sunday, both of whom are taking the state bar exam tomorrow and Thursday. Studying for the bar has kept them busy and stressed for the past two months, and I've missed seeing them. Good luck, Def and Stave!

They also had somber news -- Mrs. Stave's brother-in-law is shipping off to Iraq next week. God bless the soldiers and the officers -- and those who wait for them back here.

Not-Gay Boyfriend Resurfaces

While innocently checking my email Saturday morning, I was frozen for a moment by seeing a familiar name on the "From" column: Treaclehopper.

No, you di'int! It's been more than five weeks since we last met, with no communication in the interim. And now, a light-hearted, playful email, written at midnight on Friday night, with a suggestion for lunch in the near future? Nuh uh!

But hk is weak, ladies and germs, weak and under the thrall of big, pretty blue eyes, and so after a quick succession of emails, we are fixed for dinner next Tuesday, at 6 pm. Next Tuesday.

Now admittedly, I'm only free for early dinner on Monday and Wednesday of this coming week (and we know how Not-Gay Boyfriend likes those early dinners!), but dude, ever heard of Saturday and Sunday? Lemme 'splain: there's this thing called a weekend? Like, when you don't have to go to school or work and stuff? And because they're, like, non-working days, you can have, like, breakfast, lunch, or dinner on those days? And even this crazy meal called brunch?

There is only one explanation: the man is incapable of interacting on a weekend. Perhaps he turns into a werewolf at the stroke of midnight on Friday nights (though the email came a few seconds after midnight -- can werewolves type? perhaps he has a special werewolf-friendly, non-opposable-thumb requiring keyboard?). Perhaps he goes away every weekend to a secret camp in the hills to meet with other social justice types who plot to take over the world. Perhaps he changes into his alter ego, the saucy Baroness Trixie von Schindleheimer, on the weekends and is too busy alternately saving the world and turning tricks to have proper meals. Who knows?

Yes, I am delighted. And yes, I agree with Mr. Stave, who stated with conviction last month: "I think you deserve to know his intentions."
--------------------------------

Depressed? More like uninspired and lazy

I've been a little concerned about myself lately. (No jokes about how surprising that is -- even if they are true.) I just cannot seem to make myself do the reading for class. Really -- I'm behind three full classes for con law, and I've only managed to read two full assignments for my capital punishment class (though oddly, I have been very good and thorough about keeping up with my history class). I skipped class entirely last Monday. I went to my clinical this week dutifully, only to surf the web for half of Friday. I feel sort of listless and uninterested in anything but TV shows. I've been feeling under the weather for a couple weeks now. I just want to withdraw from the world, in other words, and not deal with anything -- class, activities, social life, family. I'm wondering if I'm not experiencing a little SAD (seasonal affective disorder) or low-grade depression. Or it could be just damn plain laziness. Or perhaps chronic fatigue syndrome. Or second year slump.

Eh. I probably just need to get to the gym more often.
----------------------------------

Grades

I'm pleased (? whatever) to report that my grades thus far this year are a lovely striped pattern of Bs and A-minuses. The grade for my winter term class, Pyschiatry & the Law, came down on Friday, and I was shocked to find an A- on my transcript. I had turned in the final about 30 minutes before I had to go to the airport to fly to New Orleans, and I was convinced it was crap.

When I got the grade, I pulled up my final from my files and read it over again, to see if I had -- secretly and unbeknownst even to me -- turned in some brilliant piece of academic writing. It was quite pedantic and uninspired, actually, especially so upon re-reading it.

This confirms my suspicions that grading in this place, this Crimson Law School, this mighty institution, this brilliantly crimson isle among law schools -- is total bullshit.
----------------------------------
And finally...

...let's talk about clerkships. Why? Because everyone else in the second year class is. The office of career services (a.k.a. the place where no one has to do any work, because all bow down and make obeisance to the mighty Crimson Law) and office of public interest jobs (a.k.a. the office that is amusingly differentiated from "career services" because such a miniscule portion of Crimson Law grads go into public service) has been putting on a series of informational sessions about why you should consider doing a clerkship.

Clerkships are one-year internships with judges. The positions can be extremely prestigious, are absolutely mandatory for those who want to be academics, and often involve enormous power behind the scenes. (For anyone who wants to know how much power clerks wield at the Supreme Court, check out The Brethren. I had to read an excerpt of it for my winter class, and it was deliciously gossipy.)

So here's the thing -- I like the idea of a clerkship, because you get to go live somewhere for a year and ... yeah, that's about it. I hate the idea of a clerkship because legal research gives me hives and I don't fancy being anyone's bitch for a year (perhaps not a fair description, I confess, but all internships are kind of like being someone's bitch). So, chances are, I won't be applying.

Even if I did consider a clerkship the nearest seat to g-d, though, it would be quite difficult to get. You need good grades, good legal research skills, and two faculty recommendations. And Crimson recommendations are reputedly of weak caliber, compared to other schools. This is in part, as a few of us were discussing yesterday, because there are a TON of students here (550 per year, yo), and so it is very tough to distinguish yourself from everyone else. But, as we agreed, there is also a stiff, formal atmosphere to this place, where interactions between faculty members, between faculty and students, and between tenured faculty and non-tenured staff, are distant. I heard a clinical instructor (not considered teaching staff and certainly not eligible for tenure) say the other day, "When I came here a couple years ago, I thought I'd be having conversations with faculty members who were on the academic side of [the area he teaches]. But here I am, four years later, and it never happened. After a couple emails proposing lunch or coffee, I just stopped trying."

Mental health day

I was pretty gloomy at 3:30 am on Sunday, but Sunday's training turned out to be just fine. It might have been the feeling of being a stalwart in the face of Mother Nature's decision to dump over a foot of snow here -- I perk up, somehow, in situations that contain a touch of emergency. All of our 24 trainees made it to training -- despite the swirling snow that fell all day and the icy streets -- which can't be said of the trainers. Thus, we were spread pretty thin and had to make do. I'm good at making do.

Yesterday, however, I was done. I got up at 8:30 intending to read and go to class and the gym and all that stuff, but I couldn't concentrate, and at 9:30, I made the executive decision to not deal with the world that day. I put my pajamas back on, closed my books and laptop, and went back to bed.

Of course, I couldn't fall asleep again, so I started reading Mansfield Park, but even that was too much, so I switched to internet surfing, and eventually ended up re-reading recaps of Felicity (yes, I know) with the laptop on its side in bed.

Joiner came by around 1 pm to check on me, since I had skipped con law, and looked at me somewhat askance, with my bed-tousled hair and shade-darkened room. "I'm taking the day off," I explained. "I'm just not dealing with the world today."

I did end up going to the gym, thanks to Joiner's insistence and no thanks to my Whiny McWhiny routine, and felt better for it. Could not read anything that night either, though.

Today it was tough to get up, but I did, finally, and now have read most of today's reading for one class. I'll deal with the assignments I missed later. No doubt I will be cursing myself several weeks hence for having not completed even one full assignment for con law, but at this point, I refuse to deal.

Up and unhappy about it

It's 6:30 am, I've been up since 3:30 am, and the snow is blowing sideways onto the streets of Crimson. The big nor'easter is here.

My eyes popped open three hours ago and I can't fall asleep again. For some reason, I got it into my head last year that megadoses of vitamin C can cause insomnia (true? no se, padre), so I could blame the bottle of orange juice and two Clementines I had before going to sleep at 11:30.

Man, it's really horrible outside. The sky's getting lighter -- think a shift from dark gray to a kind of dirty periwinkle -- and now I can see how much snow is moving through the air. (A lot.)

My waking up could have been caused by the snow removal trucks going by in the wee hours, scraping the street free of the white stuff. Loud. It would be nice if we could just say, "Hey, you know, it's fricking snowing bricks out there, so just stay in your house, okay? 'Cause you know those snow removal trucks wake hk up at the ungodly hour of 3:30 am. Not to mention having those poor snow removal guys actually out there at the ungodly hour of 3:30 am. Let's just skip the removal, stay tight until the snow stops blowing a foot an hour, and then deal with it. Huh? Whaddya think?"

It could also be dehydration (I'm somewhat convinced that I'm developing diabetes, I'm so goddamn thirsty all the time these days).

Or, it could be that I'm bothered by something. Fulfilling some sort of cliche, I've had sleepless nights caused by romantic anguish (most recently by a disappointing performance by Not-Gay Boyfriend), but I'm not in any sort of trouble with that tonight. If I'm bothered by anything, it's by the mediation program, I guess. Small things in the past week have made me feel rather unappreciated. Things that probably wouldn't bother me if I weren't still sort of run down and unhealthy. Like, feeling that one of the people I work with is getting more respect and recognition for the work she does than I do. And feeling like I'm not that good at mediation. And feeling like I'm forgettable, even though I'm one of the flipping Board members. And feeling like I'm just sort of taken for granted.

I don't know. It could all be in my head. I'm just so frickin' tired, physically, and little, possibly imagined slights are getting to me. I just feel so incompetent about making decisions, handling people, training, everything.

Sigh. I guess I'll try to catch an hour and a half of sleep before mediation training starts again.

Catch-up catch-all

Extremely busy the past three days with clinical all day on Thursday and Friday, and training for mediation today. Socially busy too: dinner with New Orleans folks on Thursday night, Olympics-viewing party on Friday night at the French King's apartment, and tonight -- well, tonight I was supposed to see Underworld with the Neener, but I am too exhausted to go. Although I left the French King's apartment early and slept for a good 9.5 hours last night, I came home tonight after dealing with training and lay down on my bed, feeling as though I was going to sink through the covers and disappear.

Clinical is good -- I'm going to get the chance to do and see some good work. A lot of the folks around there are Crimson grads from back in the day, and they are incredibly good lawyers with a real dedication to teaching as well.

Far too tired to write up a full description of the two days, so I'm going to just copy my first journal to my employment law prof (we have to turn in periodic journals so she has something to grade us pass/fail on).

I came to [this legal services clinic] in part because I liked employment law and in part because A. Park, Crimson ’05, spoke very warmly about her experience working in the employment discrimination division with Mark [the employment discrimination supervisor]. A. and I met, funny enough, not at law school but at a law firm recruiting lunch in New York in the fall, and discovered we had similar interests in employment, particularly employment discrimination and implicit bias. She encouraged me to do the clinical and pursue my interests academically, and in a sense I feel like I am following in her footsteps; yesterday I found several documents that bore her name in various client files.

This is my second day at LSC. Mark has assigned two employment discrimination cases to me, both of which are in federal court. We were supposed to have met with a possibly new client this morning, but she did not show. (Mark apologetically warned me that this was not an unusual occurrence; I told him at I’d worked in a legal services office this summer, so I was not in the least perturbed.) If she had come to the office, Mark would have done the introduction and legal advice parts of our intake interview, and I would have talked with the client about the facts of her case. The thought of doing that made me a bit nervous, despite having done intake at least five or six times in two different offices since I started law school. I’m always worried that I won’t ask an obvious and important question. It’s a good anxiety to have, but should be alleviated by the fact that I can always call with follow-up questions. Being new at something means I will make mistakes – there’s just no getting around that. I can almost accept it.

The first case involves someone who was fired after being suspected of insurance fraud. Mark called this case a good law school exam – it involves a number of claims, including discrimination on the basis of mental disability, ERISA discrimination, and a couple of other non-discrimination-related theories. This case was filed in December 2004, and we are nearing the end of the discovery stage. There are a number of depositions coming up, and Mark says that he hopes I’ll be able to do some of them. Again, quite nervous about that, but I know it will be invaluable experience. I think I’ll be around long enough for the summary judgment decision.

The other case is much more straightforward: discrimination on the basis of a physical disability. This was just filed on Feb. 1, so I’ll be seeing the front end of a federal case here. Given that most of these trials – if we end up going to trial – take one to two years (in federal court – state court trials take much longer), I think I’ll be around long enough to see the beginning of the discovery stage, which would bookend the other case nicely.

My goals for this semester are to get a better grasp on employment law doctrine, as well as to get some experience working on actual cases. I’d like to figure out if employment law and/or litigation are areas I’d be interested in working in after graduation.

I’m also interested in learning about the problems specific to the state's approach to employment discrimination. Today Mark invited me to accompany him to a meeting of several employment law plaintiffs’ lawyers who were discussing ways to improve access to legal aid for low-income complainants, and how to improve the State Commission Against Discrimination (SCAD), which is widely regarded as a complete and utter mess. An attorney from SCAD showed up halfway through the meeting, and – probably to many people’s surprise – a productive discussion ensued, including the idea of getting an independent organization to audit SCAD and suggest improvements. The next meeting will be in about 4-6 weeks, and I hope I’ll be able to attend again. Today’s meeting was a wonderful opportunity to see how legal services lawyers can also (hopefully) effect systemic change.

In sum -- a good start to what I hope will be a good semester at the clinic.

Oh, that crazy dean of students!


I must admit, our dean of students really makes me laugh sometimes.

Wednesday, February 8, 2006
From: Dean of Students
To: Students
RE: Wellness Wednesdays

Our attempts to promote wellness at the law school through programming have failed. Students report that they are too stressed, too tired, or too overbooked to attend sessions on stress, sleep or nutrition.

So here is Plan B - Wellness Wednesdays.

Every other Wednesday this semester, the Wellness Committee and our office will be tabling in the [Student Center] from 12 to 2 (there will be some shameless promotion so it will be hard to miss). We will have guest experts on hand to answer questions or give demonstrations.

Come and pick up some literature, ask questions, or get some free food and giveaways.

The topics and dates are below. We are open to other suggestions. You can email us at wellness@[crimsonlaw].edu.

February 8--Nutrition

February 22nd--Sleep

March 8th--Safety

March 22nd--Alcohol

April 5th--Fitness

April 19th--Stress

Dissatisfaction and Avoidance

Dissatisfaction: I love the mediation program -- I believe in it, I recruit for it, I want everyone to try it out. And so I'm not that sorry to spend, say, a total of 15 hours in 3 days going over applications, organizing interviewers, getting evals and impressions from interviewers, assessing applicants, blabbity blah blah.

But I work with someone who, for some reason, irks me. Not all the time. But enough. And 15 hours in 3 days with someone who irks you is a dissatisfying thing. Particularly when you really like everyone else in the program and think they are really pleasant, lovely, patient people, and you have no idea how this one person could be so abrupt and impatient and blunt in such an environment, with such other people.

Now the flip side of this person's abrupt, impatient bluntness is that she is extremely efficient, uncomplaining, and quick in mind and action. But I'd rather have someone a little less efficient and a little more pliant.

Avoidance: Not a bad thing, this one. I heard from the human rights job in Cambodia that I applied for on a whim, and probably could not have turned down if I'd gotten an offer. They negged me. I was a little surprised -- the dude said I had great credentials up front -- but not disappointed. Instead, I was relieved. I've just avoided a major decision crisis over whether to turn down a firm job (thus burning bridges at that firm) in favor of this elusive Cambodia position, and having the decision taken away from me is a damn good thing.

So, it's really, really set. Seven weeks in New York at Mighty Big Passive Aggressive Firm, four weeks in London with Magic Circle firm, four weeks in Hong Kong with same Magic Circle firm. Y'all are welcome to visit, if you don't mind not seeing me most of the time.

So should I go be a litigator now, or what?

I got my official Evidence grade today -- a blessed A-, which somewhat mitigates the two Bs that abut it on my transcript for the fall semester. Not the most successful term, but that A- saves it from being a disaster.

You know, I got an A- in crim law and civil procedure last year. Is this a sign that I should be going into litigation or something? That would amuse me. Of course, my employment law clinical is all about helping out on a couple lawsuits.

I was going over applications for mediation last night until 9:30 pm, and then doing interviews from 6:15 to 10:30 tonight. Same for tomorrow. My fellow recruiting director and I are too good for our own good -- spring semester is usually a slow term for applications, and we got MORE applicants this time than in the fall. We are damn good. Too good.

I'm not keeping up with con law reading, even though I got into the popular professor's class, but fortunately, she also summarizes the readings and cases and points pretty thoroughly, so it actually will make the readings make more sense when I do get around to doing them. I hope.

My capital punishment class looks to be interesting too. The prof is banning laptops in class. That in itself should be an experiment. I'm so used to checking email and surfing occasionally in class that I'm not sure I can concentrate for an hour and a half at a time. Theoretically I'm glad she's banning laptops, but practically, it's going to be hard to get back in to paper-and-pen mode.

While I'm not doing reading for class so much, I did finish Out this morning (when I SO should have been reading con law), a brilliant murder novel by Japanese author Natsuo Kirino. I was taking a break from research last month in the undergrad library when I happened upon a display of mystery novels recommended by staff. Out sounded good, so I recalled it and checked it out last week.

God, it's good. It tells the story of four women who work the night shift at a box lunch factory. When one of them kills her husband, the other three help her out. But it's far from jolly black comedy chick lit. It's chilling and seamy and makes you want to scrub the dirt of humanity off you in the way that James Ellroy novels do, digging around in the absolute filthiest of human emotions and underbelly of society. It's also a fucking brilliant critique of Japanese society and its treatment of women. You should read it.

Damn. Already 12:30 am! I need to sleep so I can get over this darn cold. I can't seem to shake this cough and fatigue.

Sigh

Inviting my mother to Crimson City for a visit over spring break ...

- seemed like a good idea, considering that my weekly phone calls to her have taken on almost a friendly tone in the weeks since the House O' Vomitousness (we were all sick over the holidays)

- was approved as "an investment in the future mother-daughter relationship" by my life coach

- was reacted to very hesitantly by the aunt and uncle

- was reacted to by the mother like this:

"Do you want to invite your aunt and uncle?"

"I hadn't thought about it, actually. I thought it would be nice for you to come here and take a break from them and from Seattle."

"Well, they don't seem too excited about traveling. I mentioned going to see you in London and Hong Kong this summer, but they don't seem that excited."

"Uh, okay. Well, I guess that would be a good time to come visit, since I'll have corporate housing."

"Yeah, that's what I said. Well, I'll think about coming to visit Crimson City. Thank you for inviting me."

"Well. Sure. But, uh, it's weird that I invite you here and you say you'll think about it, and I don't invite you to Hong Kong, and you assume you're going."

"Yeah?"

"Well, what if I wasn't going to be set up in corporate housing? What if I couldn't house you?"

"I can stay with friends or at a hotel."

"How would you pay for it?"

"I don't know."

"Well, I think you should ask me before you make these plans. So we can talk about it together."

Pause. Laughter. "Okay."

Oh, mom.

Sigh. Why do I try? And have I now insulted my aunt and uncle by not inviting them? And why is it that family is always such a convoluted mess?

For all the proud Canucks out there (and those who wish they were Canadian!):
My name is Joe.

Amusante

When I was in the Big Easy, Rinna got sick of me saying every other minute, "It's cold!" and then changing my mind and saying, "No, wait, now it's hot!" and said, "If I had a Pocket hk, it would say, 'It's hot! It's cold! Where are we eating?'" Heh. Pocket Rinna would say, "Stop being such a pansy and get in the game!" (she's an athlete and told this to Evan when he revealed he hated sports as a child and now). And we decided that Pocket Evan would say, "It's all about the free market..."

Rinna's a funny one; I just about died laughing when she flat-out asked Evan, who's spent a lot of time in China and has a Chinese American girlfriend, "Evan, do you have an Asian fetish?" To which he replied in a dignified manner, "Yes. Yes, I do. I won't deny it."

Rinna just emailed me about exchanging photos from that week and added: "I thought of another thing for Pocket hk: 'I think it falls into an exception...'" That is so true -- I kept making exceptions to my free range vegetarianism by putting things in the I'm-traveling-so-I-should-eat-all-local-specialties category.

Pocket hk would, upon further thought, also say things like, "Do you think my Not-Gay Boyfriend is thinking of me right now?" and "Oh. My. God." and "I don't know what to doooooo!" and "I need to talk to my life coach."

A full, busy day

The madness of school and activities come again. I started out the day reading a draft of a paper to be delivered at a symposium in June as preparation for my meeting with my employment law professor at 10:35. The paper's about the (non)application of social science research on implicit biases in discrimination lawsuits. I found it very interesting, which was disconcerting. A law paper, interesting? Perish the thought!

Actually, it was more social science than law, so that's probably why. Also, it touches on the fascinating topic I stumbled across last year: unconscious biases. I went to a lecture last year by a social psychologist on this topic and now it is blossoming out for me in a tangible, productive form -- I had asked Employment Law Prof about it and she sent me the article, and after talking to her about it today and offering my slave labor, she said she did have some work coming up that she'd need some help on.

So, cool -- work for a prof. It'll be interesting, I hope.

After talking to the prof, who is insanely brilliant and scary, I checked on my con law class status with the registrar, got no love, decided to go beg the con law prof directly, and was told that everyone who showed up the first day would be allowed in. Sa-weeeeet! I'm so glad -- this prof is universally loved and the first day of class had a good vibe to it. Who doesn't like stuff like the First Amendment and shit like that? It’ll be a very work-heavy class – con law classes are like that – but with a good professor, it’ll be interesting.

After that errand, I answered some emails and then went to another meeting for Student Org #1 (the human rights group) at 2 pm. Ugh. I want to retire from it, but I can’t. The adviser is amazing and chill, and sometimes I feel inspired by his work, but mostly I think, man, I’m really not cut out for this. Which – yeah, so I’ve applied to this human rights org in Cambodia, and if I get it … okay, I’m not going to think about how I’m going to decide that one until I have to.

Then it was on to the Open House for Student Org #2 at 3 pm, which was fun and successful. A nice, bigger-than-expected crowd showed up and ate down the grapes and cheese and drinks and spinach dip to nothing. A couple of Board members stood around and chatted and ate the rest of the food after everyone left. It was nice. Mediation folks generally are.

Then, after I dumped off leftover bowls and signs at the mediation office, I went to the orientation dinner for my clinical, late. I have a good feeling about it – they’re actually going to teach us how to interview clients and assess cases; in short, how to be a good lawyer. Three of the four lawyers in my section graduated from Crimson Law School themselves, and rhapsodized about doing this clinical as one of the best things about law school.

Clinicals are, like con law, also notorious for the work load – one of the lawyers joked, “At the beginning, I was just looking at all this paperwork and wondering when I’d get to see clients, and by the end of the semester I had 15 clients and never went to any of my other classes.” So, with con law, the clinical, another reputedly work-y class (capital punishment), and possible work with a prof – plus mediation and human rights stuff… oof. It’s going to be a busy semester. But I feel hopeful about it. I definitely feel hopeful.