Glum

I love that word. Glum, I mean. It's so expressive, and sadly underused.

I'm not particularly glum today. Not any more than you'd expect to be if you were tied up for 12 hours a day with studying for an exam in a field you find boring and which will prepare for a career in said field. The lecturers sometimes try to make the hypotheticals amusing by using pop culture references, which sometimes works to perk me up for a few seconds. A torts question is made slightly more enjoyable when the plaintiff is Britney and the joint tortfeasors Paris and Lindsey. Same for a spousal privilege example where Britney is called upon to testify about a drug deal she witnessed between Kevin and X while she and Kev were married. (Answer: Kevin couldn't keep her from testifying, since they're no longer married and it wasn't a confidential communication between them during their marriage.) It's also fun to make up mnemonics (what are the 6 exceptions to the search warrant requirement? SPInACH!).

I should be reviewing crim right now, so I can do the stupid practice essay to turn in, but after three hours of conflict of laws with Joe Tom Easley, my brain is on strike.

I'm pretty settled in my mind that the next communication Scientist and I will have is going to be our breakup conversation. We haven't had any contact since last Sunday, when he said he was unhappy with how the relationship wasn't progressing, didn't feel like he wanted to do the things needed for the relationship to progress, but didn't think we should give up yet.

Everyone says that they learn something from each relationship. So here is what I learned from dating Scientist for 3 months:

1. Communication is important, but repetitive messages are pointless when they don't lead to action. Scientist looooooves communicating, but when he says, "I'm reluctant to move forward. I just thought you should know," without any action on his part to remedy the problem, I just end up feeling like crap. Stop unloading on me unless you're willing to do something about it.

2. Hot sex is awesome!

3. Being with someone who is incredibly well-read, intellectually curious, and interested in just about everything is hot!

4. Sadly, brainy + hot sex, while somewhat necessary, are not sufficient for a good relationship.

The next few things are more along the lines of things I learned about myself.

5. I do a lot better with someone who is decisive, knows what they want, and is used to taking charge. Perhaps I should not be. Perhaps I should know my own mind better. Perhaps I should be more decisive. Perhaps I should take charge more and stop being so lazy/accommodating. In fact, I should be all those things. But I'm not. I'm working on it. But it's not my natural state of being, and I'd rather be the indecisive, accommodating, lazy follower in the relationship, if there is one.

6. I don't have overweening passions. I didn't lie on my match profile when I said I liked hiking and reading and traveling and writing and making snarky comments about TV shows. I do like those things. But except writing, I don't make a particular effort to do any of those things. I just do what's convenient. I am not able to say, "OMG, I would die if I couldn't do ___." Well, except writing. Okay, so maybe writing is my passion. Fine! I'm totally wrong here. The other things are just second tier passions. The Colby Colleges of my passion hierarchy. Or something.

I'm all fuddled now. Time to go back to crim.