Pretty, pretty snow falling today. I wore my new waterproof hiking boots out today -- all the way to the library! Yes, all of 50 yards or so. I've been sitting here since 10 am, trying to complete an 8-10 page paper due in 9 -- oops, now 8 -- minutes. I'm on page 5. I had four pages when I sat down this morning. I'm screwed.

It's on paternalism angst in the lawyering profession, and oh my, what angst. Angst, in fact, is all that my elective (Responsibilities of Public Lawyers) is about. Angst over what a public lawyer is. Angst about the adversarial system. Angst about whether lawyers ought to be graced with the label of "professionals" like doctors and architects. Angst about time constraints and gender discrimination and racial discrimination and how the profession (or rather, "profession") doesn't inspire youngsters to work for the public's interest anymore. Remember how I said that law school is like high school? I wasn't kidding.

This Thursday, I, with three other students, have to lead a class discussion on paternalism in the law. Paternalism is, roughly, when someone decides something for you. It's a tricky subject. It's certainly relevant to lawyer-client relationships. I've talked about it in a mediation context. And I have absolutely nothing to say on the matter.

I did think my elective was interesting and conducted in a anti-law-school manner (student-taught, for one thing), but I've begun to think it as boring, if in a different way, as my other classes. (Speaking of which -- ha! What other classes? I haven't been to my criminal law class since Feb. 9) Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Oh, it's so HARD to deal with these theoretical ailments of lawyering! Maybe we shouldn't have such an adversarial legal system! Maybe we don't deserve to be called professionals! Maybe we should make decisions for clients! No, maybe we shouldn't! Maybe I should go shoot myself right now!

All right, all right, I'll admit that the class brings up valid concerns about being a lawyer. I admit it, okay? But here's the problem: I just don't care. I don't care about any of this stuff. My attitude is that, okay, we've got these concerns, they're interesting in a navelgazing sort of way, let's spend a minute or 10 talking about them and move out and actually do something.

I think it's fairly clear that I hate theory.

I think it's also fairly clear that I hate law school.

Perhaps this law school in particular. As my RA said last term, it's fine to know the black-letter law (what's on the books) at other schools, but at Crimson, you need to know the policy behind the law. Presumably because Crimson is grooming the future policy-makers of the world. Which is fine and good, and policy-makers should spend some time thinking about the theory, but lord oh lord, that's not me.

Final thought: I know a good book when I read it. I know a good meal when I eat it. I know a good beer when I drink it. I know a good song when I hear it. I know a good outfit when I wear it. I know a good hair day when I see it. I know that feeling, that "oh!" recognition, that "hey. niiiice." feeling when something fits. So where is it? And how long am I going to look for it before I realize it's not here?

My paper is now 21 minutes overdue. Huh.