Hey yo.

Late night confession time.

Been kinda blue of late, owing to people leaving, and a significant interaction earlier this week with my former significant other.

Goodbyes, goodbyes, goodbyes. What's so good about 'em? S'all I'm asking.

KB said, in the context of how hard it was to leave Korea, that I too would realize only at the end of my stay here how many friends I had. And, more importantly, that it was only at the end that I, like he, would realize how precious they were to me.

Seeing that a large percentage, if not number, of good friends are leaving before me or have left already, I'm hitting that point a lot earlier than I expected to. Everything about Korea seems more dear than ever before.

It's entirely normal that we should see things in this light at the end of an experience. Most of us, I think, would have a hard time getting through our days if we were constantly thinking of how wonderful and precious every second with our friends was, and how we had to treasure it. It might take away from the simple pleasures of sitting around listening to and laughing uncontrollably about how loudly our stomachs are gurgling, or watching a cheeseball drama and muttering "vodkavokdavodka" whenever the Russian pimp appears on the screen, or finding the third fantastic 80-cent shirt of the day at the Express Bus Terminal mall. I'm thankful that we're wired to realize only afterwards that the pleasures of life are in the simple interactions that we don't think much of when they're actually happening.

Some people, though, aren't wired that way. My Canadian doppleganger last year. My old mate Linders. My college friend Stave (the girl half of Def and Stave). My former significant other. Deep thinkers, all of them, and capable of profound depths of emotion.

But I can't decide if they're blessed or cursed with this ability to realize the dearness as it happens. It seems more of a curse to me. How much easier would it be to live life casually -- not necessarily unthinkingly (though that sounds good too sometimes), but just more carefree? In particular, it seems like a curse for my former S.O., who has the biggest capacity to love of any human being I've come across. He chose me to love, and treasured our relationship as it happened. And he chose badly, I think, because he chose someone who doesn't have the same capacity to treasure and to love and to hold dear.

Man, I don't know. As my fellow ClubDOJ member Allen used to say: "I don't know nuthin' about nuthin'." I just know that goodbyes can be good, yeah, sure, and they can be good for you, but that lately, they just plain old suck.