Drqank. Very drunk. WEll, not the most drunk I've ever been, but fairly drunk. Persistant drunken state. Damn it.

Out for Mi'a's birthday wtih Wqrraen and Aimee and John, who immigreated to US when 10 and doesn't hink books ore moves are v ery inrpsiring. (YOu realize that I am not coreecting any typographical mistakes here ena thsat it is indeed s amll biracle that I am typing at all.)

Much soju. And more soju and berr and singing 43 NOn-blondes at noraie bang (karaoke place). No. 4 nonblonges. Yeah, that'w its.

Was going to go to Hongdae with Aimee but she is only 22 and has lotso of energy and I was already 4 when she was born and she doesn't hagve any emotional connectionto "Sweet CHild of Mine" whereas I remember clarely that I listened ot ti for the fisrt time durig the civics field trip to DC when I was in ... uh, oh, can't remen ber when I went hteren. Oh yes. 8th grade. Lena Watanabe. Metalhead. Japanese. Hda me listen to her walkman (remember those?") while in line at the ... airport? Somthing like that.

Late night tv consits of very boring shows. And one intersting show aboutg divorse stories. THis one was about a woman who suffered 8 year s with a demon of a mother-n-law. Man, you aitnst' seen nothing about suffering til you see the storeis about what Korena daugher in laws put up with when they mnove in with their new husbands.

CAlled about 10 peopel eon my cell phone memeory so as not to make durnken dial to ex.

will not make drunken phone call to J. Been 5 days already since i wrote back and told him we should not hope to get back togehter. no rsponse though i obsessively check email three times a day, hopeing for..l dunno, forgviness? Too mcuh to ask for, know.

i know he has stoppe dreading this blog and its a good thing but i am so so so sorry, and i never meant to hurt you so badly and I'm can't help but cry as i writ ethis because there's nothing to do nothing at all when you've hurt someone who loves you who you love so much so much that it can never be erawsed and there's no going back and it's really turly the end, the end the end.