Each day seems so long and varied. Which is good, I guess. Often at night I'll think of something that happened that morning, and it's always with a jolt that I realize it happened the same day.

I am starting to integrate short bursts of running into my daily walk, almost by accident. Sometimes it just feels right to run. Maybe it's because I always listen to a CD while I walk. The beat gets you moving.

There was a really spectacular sunset today. Most of the sky was overcast, but as the sun set, a large jagged section in the clouds near the horizon split open, and it seemed like a lake of amber was sitting in the sky. Or that the clouds hid a magical world of golden light, a bit like what I imagine Mt. Olympus would have looked like, the gods strolling around in their majestic togas and laurel wreaths, chatting, sipping ambrosia and all that.

There was even a rainbow to the south, a strange, almost vertical band of muted colors that disappeared into the pink clouds if you looked directly at it, but popped up distinct and magnetic out of the corner of your eye.

It was a nice walk. I stopped to admire the sun and the clouds and the rainbow, and even paused Coldplay (Rush of Blood to the Head, borrowed from Mia) to appreciate the moment.

After coming home, I really did intend to start practicing my speech for class immediately after dinner (I have to deliver it tomorrow), but I watched some TV with dinner, and sank into a blue funk thanks to a melodramatic breaking-up story arc on Nor-an Sohn Su-gan (Yellow Handkerchief). Reminded me too much of the last time I saw J, two months ago in L.A.

Sadness.

So here it is, 10 pm already, and I haven't practiced the speech yet. I dunno. I'm tired. I need to decide if I'm going to skip next term and take a little break. I also need to decide if I'm going to sign up for the jazz dance class. I could do it only if I don't do school next term, I think. And I need to decide where I'm going for this upcoming summer break.

Lordy, I'm tired. I really am trying to do my best to keep busy, exercise, and meet people, and most of the time I feel okay, but as I wrote to a friend today, it's like a gray pall -- fog? smog? mist? well, you get the metaphoric gist -- veils everything, so that nothing is quite ever completely sharp and free of sadness. It's only right and natural and I expected it to be so -- Nina said to give it 10 months -- but sometimes it's hard to remember that beyond the overcast sky is a world bathed in beauty and light.