A day of many firsts

1. First paycheck. About 80 dollars less than what I estimated, which is kinda sad, since I calculated for a 40% total tax on my wages. Ouch. The Man, his brother NY State, and his cousin NY City take pretty big cuts.

But still. It's bigger than any other biweekly check I've ever gotten in my life. And that's what counts.

2. First dinner on the firm.

Okay, not really, because two weeks ago there were about 3 dinners on the firm during orientation. But tonight was dinner on the firm billed to an actual client.

Sushi, tempura and miso soup. Tasty, but my stomach didn't take too kindly to it. Besides coffee, water, hot chocolate and a granola bar, it was the only thing I ate today. I really gotta get better with the food thing.

3. First late night at the firm.

I'm putting together a summary of certain rights that certain parties have in certain agreements. It doesn't sound hard, and it shouldn't be. Yet it took 9 hours and I'm still not done. Part if it is the incredibly stilted, horribly picky detailed phrasing known as legalese. AGH. I hate it.

I'm not familiar with the docs or the deal, so I'm slow, but I'm trying my best. I'm not efficient, but it's not entirely my fault.

Then why do I feel like I haven't done a very good job? Boo. The senior associate who gave me the assignment told me to go home at 10:15, but I stayed until 11:30 trying to organize my tasks for tomorrow. Somehow, everything takes longer than I think it should.

4. First car service home.

The firm provides car service home if you work past 8:30. It's nice. I was tired. But it might have been good to walk off the day, you know? I'm going to try to keep the car service nights to a minimum.

This next thing is not in the Firsts category or even in the Happenings of Today category, but I remembered it today. I met a woman my age yesterday at Fearless T's -- she was the girlfriend of T's cousin -- who works for a trade publication as a writer.

This woman worked for a thinktank in DC right out of college, then as an editor in a publishing company in NY for a couple years before going to journalism school. Publishing wasn't as rewarding as she thought it would be, and "there's always someone willing to do your job for cheaper," she said. She dislikes her current job because there's no room to grow, and is looking for another, but it's a hard time for print publications.

"If you have to have a boring job," she said, after I told her about my job woes, "you may as well get paid well."

I've been mourning the path not taken. But talking to this woman, whose career trajectory could so easily have been mine, made me wonder if I would have found myself in the same unfulfilled place even if I had pursued writing jobs right out of college. Maybe it's all just another case of the grass on the other side? It's so easy to romanticize that other path, when really it's as full of brambles and as choked with weeds as the one you're on.

But then, what can bring meaning to life?
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