Gobble gobble

Well, the turkeys had nothing to fear from me today -- not a morsel of their flesh passed my lips this Thanksgiving. Today was one of the more unconventional Thanksgivings I've had; I read for class most of the day, talked to bigbro for a bit, then went out to meet Empress Ro (he's not just a queen, honey, he's an empress!) in the Village for drinks.

It was quite a sad Thanksgiving, actually, by which I mean it was not sad a whit. Rather, it was peaceful, productive, and in the end, hilarious because BOTH the places Ro and I had planned on going to were closed or not to be found (including, unfortunately, the cute little place I had my going away drinks at this past summer), and after wandering around for a while, we wound up at apparently the only place in Soho open on Thanksgiving night, trading smart-ass remarks with the waitress, who urged us to get dessert and treat ourselves, since "it's Thanksgiving!" to which Empress Ro snapped, "We're models, honey! We can't eat crab cakes!"

So I had my roast beets with goat cheese and my sushi rice and white chocolate martini, and Ro had his Sauvignon Blanc and pizza ("with too much cheese on it" he complained to the waitress), and we gave thanks for being alive and being in New York with each other.

For New York is where I am, luxuriating in this pre-war UWS condo with wireless, cable, plush Oriental rugs, full fridge, and sinfully comfortable bed. Camp Bella is wonderful, and I am really truly frickin' grateful to be here by myself, going out and meeting one or two friends a day and working on schoolwork the rest of the time. I have loads to do and not enough time to do it, but it was such the right decision to come down here for the weekend. Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Camp Bella!

And how/why am I here? Well, I had a firm fly me down, to be honest. But it wasn't a sleazy move on my part, I swear. Last week and weekend, I had a few discussions in which I realized I really hadn't liked being at the Passive Aggressive But Really Prestigious Firm (PABRPF) in New York. I had not really enjoyed the social events, not really connected with anyone in the summer class, not met anyone particularly interesting. The firm was perfectly pleasant, collegial, respectful and all the other things it's rumored to be, but I just felt dead inside when I was there or interacting with anyone there.

But the time I spent in New York over the summer was still wonderful, because I love my friends who live here, and reveled in seeing them. Really reveled. I wallowed in their friendship, soaking up their good humor and kindness and interest in my life. The parts of me that felt so dead at school healed a little bit while I was here.

So how to enjoy that support but avoid the PABRPF? Well, I had worked for a British firm in Hong Kong and London with an office in New York, so I asked if I could come down and talk to some folks about working in the New York office. And they were pretty open to that. So I made the reservations on Tuesday afternoon at clinical, went to bankruptcy class, went out for dinner with Joiner and got shit-faced at a bar afterwards, packed my shit up, slept for 3.5 hours, and flew out of Crimson City about 15 hours after finalizing my plans to go to New York.

I talked to some employment law types at the Magic Circle firm's New York office, hoping that it would be more along the lines of the employment law that I like, but no -- pensions and benefits is what they do, and mighty boring it sounds. But then I talked to a senior associate in International Capital Markets, and... okay, remember all my foolishness about signs and whatnot? Um, yeah. I had the best interview EVER. It wasn't even an interview. It was, like, a career counseling session. A few choice slices of the Most Fruitful Interview Ever:

- Wait. Back up. You're thinking of going to a Main Street type firm in Seattle? hk, that's like the other side of the Grand Canyon. You'd be leading a totally different life there, with totally different clients. Those Main Street type of firms tend to have clients who don't know about the law except that they want to avoid any trouble with the law. That's very different from what you'll find here (Magic Circle Firm) and at [PABRPF]. People who have your type of resume, people like us who have double Ivy degrees, they tend to gravitate toward this side of the Grand Canyon, where the clients know about the law, are comfortable in a regulatory environment, who want to make the law work for them. It's less real life, but it's more intellectually challenging. Both types of law, both types of firms are valid choices, but they are very, very different. And that's the first choice you have to make.

- Second, you need to decide whether you want to do the international thing. And if you do, you should go to Hong Kong. That's where you'll be able to shape your career the way you want. It's wide open there, and they're doing amazing work. Now, whether you want to spend some time in New York first before you go and how long you want to do that, is up to you. And doing the expat thing can be something you just don't know about until you try it. So consider if you can live with knowing that you gave the chance up. And if you think you'd always wonder about what it would have been like, then do it. Try it out. You can always come back.

- And third, do you want to really start your career, or do you just want to dabble in it for two years and quit? Because hk, frankly, if you hadn't had those seven years of work experience between college and law school, if you were just double Ivy, I would have canceled this interview. I just couldn't have done another one -- those kids all go to places like [PABRPF]. It's safer. They're not ready to start their careers, to commit to being lawyers. And they leave after two years.

"Wow," I think I said.

"I'm going to lay odds."

"Um, okay."

"Well, first tell me what you think about everything we've talked about."

"Well. It's been really clarifying. I think you summed up all the issues really succinctly. In fact, this has been one of the most useful conversations I've ever had about my career."

"Huh. Okay, I have no idea what you're going to do. Typically, people with resumes like yours are mature, they know what they want, they're ambitious, and they don't want to spend time in a place where they'll be marking time waiting to do interesting work. They're ready to start doing what they want to do, and they're ready to shape their own careers. And you can do that here. We're still growing our practice in New York. There's no set idea of what a first year can do versus a second year."

"Well," I said, "what if I'm mature -- relatively speaking -- and ambitious, but I'm unfocused? What if I don't know what I want to do?"

"Well, then -- I'm really glad they don't bug offices here, because if you're not sure what you want to do, then... you should probably go to [PABRPF]."

I considered this. "But then, would you even want me to come here?"

"Of course! I would say that you are not a good short-term bet. You're high risk." He didn't elaborate further. But then: "So now I am going to lay odds. I'd say... 70% chance you go to [PABRPF]. 20% chance you go to Hong Kong. And 10% chance you come here."

"Oh! Okay. Interesting."

The "interview" lasted an hour -- 40 minutes beyond our alloted time. It was the best interview of my life, and the most helpful career advice about my legal career I'd gotten so far, and I made sure to tell him that as we walked to meet my next interviewer. "In the top three" conversations about my career in general, I assured him, thinking of my session with the career shrink two weeks ago and my conversation with "Jack" right after that session.

"Only the top three?" he complained.

"Well, the top three of general conversations about career," I explained. "The top conversation about law, for sure."

"What were the other conversations about?"

"Oh, about options other than law," I said lightly.

"Oh." He considered that. "You know, you should give it a try. Really give law a try. And you can't do that if you don't -- if you are thinking about --"

"If you don't commit yourself," I finished his thought.

"Right."

My next interviewer, a young woman about my age who started work 6 weeks ago, came to pick me up, and I shook hands with the wise senior associate and said goodbye.

I was pretty frazzled by then, having only slept a couple hours, but as I talked to her, I remembered how all the Magic Circle people I had met during the summer and interviews had had some kind of international experience or had worked or had some other career before law, and how much I liked that. And ... god, maybe I've made some sort of choice? It's too frightening to think about.

After the interviews, I headed up to Camp Bella and conked out on the couch for a couple hours before waking and going to see Fearless T 20 blocks south. She showed me her office, where she is now seeing patients as part of her own private practice (I'm so proud of her, I could burst!), and we then settled into coffee at Cafe Lalo (best known for its role in You've Got Mail, apparently). And then I came home to dinner with One-Armed Maggie, and another clarifying conversation about careers. And -- damn it, New York! Even with the grim, rainy, windy, blustery weather, it seems like such a warm, giving town to me this week, thanks to the people here.

And so hk gives thanks to the powers that be, the friends she is blessed with, the family she loves, the options that multiply like Tribbles, the luxury of choice (even as it operates as a curse), and her life. As angsty as she makes it, it's one to be thankful for.