Let's get ethical, ethical/I wanna get ethical
(apologies to Olivia Newton John)

I took the Multistate Professional Responsibilities Exam yesterday at another local law school, and I have this to say:

1. To Ms. Destroyer, whom I saw before the exam but who didn't see me: "Hey, Ms. Destroyer! What, no love? Is it because I made a souffle with your (ex?)-lover Mr. Destroyer last term? Look, it was a doomed souffle. Can't we let bygones be bygones? Also, please stop changing your facebook profile photo every day. We know you are beautiful and did some modeling work. There is no need to rub it in."

2. To the guy who asked the proctor to repeat instructions for Section K: "Dude. It's the state you're going to take the bar exam for. It says as much on the form."

3. To the girl who asked the proctor to repeat instructions for Section K 5 minutes after the first guy did: "Does filling in bubbles really take that much focus? You didn't hear the instructions the first time OR the second time? Damn, girl."

4. To the LLM who asked, "I'm in a one-year LLM program. So am I a first year student or a third year (last year) student?": "Good question. Actually, you could also be a 'law school graduate,' technically."

5. To the girl who turned around after I said this and said, "No, she's an LLM": "Uh, yeah? And an LLM is an advanced law degree? And most LLMs already have a law degree?"

6. To the same girl, who then gave me a look of death: "I'm just saying."

7. To the Crimson Law School guy who raised his hand when the proctor asked whether we needed more time to read the instructions on the back of the booklet -- TWICE: "Really, though? You really need to read the instructions for a multiple choice scantron test?"

8. To the guy who asked, "What do we do with the rectangles in the bubble columns?": "Hi there. Have you ever taken a standardized test? Are you a complete moron?"

9. To the proctor, who could not simply say, "Fill in the rectangles where there's a blank space, like between the number and the street name" and instead kept reading the instructions like an automaton, resulting in the guy following up with the same question three more times, worded differently: "Why are you doing this? Please shoot me now."

10. To the girl sitting next to me, who asked, "Can we go to the bathroom during the exam?": "Good question. Please shut up so we can actually start the exam."

11. To Mr. Destroyer, whom I saw and with whom I did speak after the exam: "What is with your hair? It's sticking straight up on about 85% of your head, and flat on the other 15%. By the way, did you know that I refer to you as Satan and Ms. Destroyer as The Bride? It's dated now, but Joiner and I made it up when you guys were going out. It just sounds nice, especially when we add in your Mormon friend, like this -- 'Satan, his Bride, and the Mormon Who Loved Them.'"

12. To myself, after 5 hours of sleep and way too much caffeine: "Good lord, girl, please just shut it."