Reasons not to

Reason 42 for not going to yet another firm dinner at the fanciest restaurant in Crimson Square: because you end up sitting at a table of Mormon men, hoping that when the topic of conversation is politics, it'll swing to something else, and then when it does swing to something else (sports), hoping fervently that it it'll swing back to politics.

Reason 43: because in order to sit through dinner (seafood platter, organic greens, pumpkin ravioli, chocolate crepes and coffee), you drink lots and lots and lots of Pinot Noir, but you don't really notice, because the waitstaff are so good about keep your glass half full like it's a magically replenishing glass, and you end up stumbling home in the rain whining on the phone to Joiner about how you just sat through a 2.5-hour dinner with Mormons and you really want a cigarette and someone to kiss right now.

Reason 44: because you drank last night and the night before, and you're NOT 22 ANYMORE. STOP IT.

Reason 45: because with the Mormon's wife, you have some weird drunk conversation about that fuckwit, the He-Destroyer, and how he is dating some married woman, and you ponder together why he has like a WOOOOMP effect on women and you point out that she hasn't succumbed, and you haven't either, and it's a total lie, because THE HYPNO-TOAD HE-DESTROYER CANNOT BE STOPPED. YOU WILL ALL BE ASSIMILATED INTO HIS REIFIED BULLSHITTING CRIMINALLY INSANE HOTNESS.

Reason 46: because you're not going to get a callback anyway. Because you used to be a Prom Queen (2L year) but now you're day-old cabbage.

Reason 47: because it's is pouring buckets out there, and you could have been very comfortably ensconced in your bed watching Felicity episodes (reasearch for the 3L paper) and having pita chips for dinner, but you chose to go out into the rain anyway because you couldn't think of a lie fast enough on the phone with the recruiter. It is raining frogs out there, for real.