A little navel-gazing today... just warning ya -- could be boring...

Over the weekend I decided that I would take the summer off from school and gad about a bit. So Monday morning, I told my dad this, whereupon he called the school for me (I'd already paid for this term) and got my tuition transferred to next term in about 30 seconds flat. He's got a way with words, my dad.

In truth, I'd been wondering about whether to take this term off for some time, but it was on Saturday, when I was out and about with Soonji, that I finally made up my mind. I asked Soonji what she thought I should do (my penchant for asking other people to make up my mind for me hasn't changed -- wherever you go, there you are, you see), and she thought for a second before answering: "Well, if you had a plan to do something active each day, you know, as a replacement for school, and learn about Seoul or something, then I'd do it."

So I thought, "Okay! That's what I'll do."

But I have to tell you: I'm afwaid.

You see, I'm rather afraid of free time, as I don't know what to do with myself when I have it. If I'm not actively doing something (work, school, out with friends, at a museum, exercising), I get nervous. Free time? I should be doing something constructive, productive, or self-improving, dammit! So while I do do relaxing things such as taking walks, writing in my journal, and taking naps, I never feel like they were really worthwhile activities for an entire day.

Perversely, I'm really, really lazy, so even though I might feel restless, I can't quite get up the energy to go to a museum or whatever, and I end up on the couch (here, on the floor) rereading Harry Potter for the 500th time. Which would be fine in itself, except I feel like a lazy bastard when night rolls around.

I realize I've got a type A personality (funny enough, my blood type is A+), and my old shrink would say I shouldn't think of that as a negative, but sometimes you just wanna relax, you know? John tried earnestly to teach me the fine art of hanging out, but I'm afraid I didn't learn the lesson very well.

So this summer is a bit of a test. I'll only be working four hours a day; the rest of the day is mine. I can't give up all my type A ways, so I do plan on signing up for a class of some sort (taekwondo is at the top of the list), and I want to set aside an hour or two to review last term's lessons and try reading more Korean. I'm also going to switch my hours at work to morning, so that I can go to lunch with colleagues and practice speaking Korean (the skill I feel most deficient in). And I'm going to try to explore the city, which I haven't done at all.

Oh dear. Lots of goals already, for this supposedly relaxing summer vacation.

That's just it, you know. Wherever you go, there you are. Damn.