The after
(uh ... probably still not safe, bigbro)

7 am: what the hell? Oh, lord. Construction. Grr.

9 am: don't think about it, just go to the gym. Think Posh Spice.

10:30 am: ugh. Law school classes blow. I forgot, having ditched admin law for the entire month of March. Don't even think about calling on me, mister. You will regret it.

12 pm: hm. He hasn't called. But. Not gonna think about it. Not gonna define it. Just gonna go with the flow.

12:05 pm: he's going to call, right?

12:10 pm: not going to think about it.

12:15 pm: [to Joiner] "He hasn't called. What does that mean?"

12:17 pm: "Right, right. Not going to think about it."

1 pm: various clinical-related interviews, very good, very good. But... he hasn't called. Well, not going to think about it.

3:45 pm: huh. He still hasn't called. Is he going to call? Do I want him to call? Of course I want him to call. He's supposed to call. Why hasn't he called?

4:10 pm: global governance class. Check email. Dammit!

4:15 pm: Check email. Dammit!

4:17 pm: Check email. Double dammit.

5:30 pm: meet Joiner in library. "He hasn't called! What does this meeeeeaaaaan?"

5:35 pm: "Right, right. Inner calm."

6 pm: "It's been 30 hours. Why hasn't the fucker called?"

8 pm: Damn. Have I been played?

9 pm: "33 hours, Joiner. What the hell?"

11 pm: "36 hours, Joiner. I have been played! Fucker!"

11:05 pm: [on phone with Miracle Gro, smoking outside] "You're right. If I were in his place, and I knew I was leaving in three months, I wouldn't call either. No one starts a relationship knowing it's going to be long distance in three months." Sigh. "So disappointing."

12 am: [still on phone with Miracle Gro] "I'm going to be alone forever."

12:15 am: [still on phone with Miracle Gro] "Are you sure that it's not worth it, to feel the way I did yesterday morning?"

12:17 am: [still on phone with Miracle Gro] "You're right, you're right. Aw, man. This sucks."

12:30 am: [still on phone with Miracle Gro] "Thanks for talking with me, Miracle Gro." [hang up] What a bummer. And I feel totally sick from the three cigarettes I stress-smoked in 10 minutes.

12:45 am: [check email, see there is one message in my inbox] "GLORY BE AND HALLELUJAH!" [happy dance happy dance]

12:50 am: [on phone with Miracle Gro] "He emailed me!" [Miracle Gro: "Goddamn you, hk!"]

12:54 am: [waking up Joiner downstairs] "Yeah, so I called Miracle Gro, and she said he probably did like me, but just didn't want to get into a situation where he's going to get more invested, so that makes sense, and I would totally do the same thing, and it's disappointing, but -- THEN I CHECKED MY EMAIL AND HE WROTE TO ME! WHEEEEE!"

12:56 am: "But he really should have called earlier." [Joiner: "At least we know he's not a prick."]

1 am: [happy dance happy dance]

1:15 am: Thank god. Now I'm free to obsess about all his faults.