Rising panic quelled (but not really, since I woke up with a stomach ache from hell and continue to feel queasy)
(Alternate title: How can I amuse myself while procrastinating from studying con law and capital punishment, both of which I apparently want to fail?)

The cover of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy tells you: "DON'T PANIC." And when you open it, it starts speaking to you in a soothing, intelligent-but-not-intimidating tone of voice that breaks it down, lays it out, and schools you in the most gentle, understanding of ways. You close the book and think, "Damn! Now I understand why prior restraints on free exercise of speech are considered bad!"

That is, if you have the Hitchhiker's Guide to con law. Which reminds me: I'm breaking the 40-something-tall-good-looking-liberal-dad-of-three mold to introduce my new boyfriend:


You laugh, but Erwin Chemerinsky laughs along with you, because Erwin Chemerinsky is a legal genius who -- oxymoronically -- writes beautifully and clearly, enjoys chatting with Supreme Court justices on various issues of national significance, turned down a deanship at UNC to teach with his wife at Duke, and generally has a cooler, more fulfilled, and far more significant life than yours. And someday, he will come to his senses and marry me.

(That doesn't mean anything's changed between us, Stephen! Aw, baby, don't be like that. You know I love you the best.)