Freaked OUT yesterday in the most high drama yet private way -- stumbled/fell out of the dorm and walked along the street crying, hyperventilating. and muttering to myself, "Calm DOWN calm down calm down." This was after sitting in the library for the first time since last Wednesday and realizing that I had no idea how to research this memo due Thursday, deciding instead to read property (two days behind in the reading and soon to be three), and then staring at the material on the page and being wholly unable to comprehend it. So I threw my stuff in my backpack and went outside, where it was SNOWING, which was beautiful in its way, but also incomprehensible (it was November 8, for crying out loud). I made the unfortunate error of seeking help from a hallmate, who was completely unhelpful, and then the aforementioned freak-out began.

Basket case!

Fortunately, BC came to the rescue telephonically, reminding me that it is a stressful place and time, but that I would be more than all right. (But if there's no spoon, how do I eat my oatmeal?)

I went to bed at 11 last night and got up this morning at 8 am, and I'm still tired, but less freaked out. I haven't been getting enough sleep lately (like, 5-6 hours a night), and I need to correct that. My dad coming to town this weekend disrupted my plans for catching up on work, and when life is a delicate balancing act of getting just the right amount of reading done at just the right hours, a lost weekend can be catastrophic. When I say that I'm two classes behind in reading, I'm talking about six hours of work (soon to be nine!) that I need to eventually do, and with the amount of work in other classes, finding the six hours to do what I should have done last week is a tough gig.

I'm not complaining -- okay, yes I am. I'm not whining about it, though (I think). When they say law school is hard, it's partly this time crunch they're talking about, as well as some of the material (incomprehensible and boring).

Sigh.

That perspective thing I gained last week from listening to Chopin? It was nice, but some narrow vision would be more helpful at this point.