Sunday, June 13, 2004

The family wagon

Pojangmacha, literally translated, means "covered wagon" -- the sort that traversed the American midwest in the 19th century, carrying whole families and all their worldly possessions (pojang = awning or curtain, ma = horse, cha = vehicle). Here, a pojangmacha is a street food vendor. In the old days, it was probably a wooden cart pulled by a horse, but now the carts are metal contraptions pulled by metal horses (cars, duh), covered with plastic tarps to protect vendor and customers alike from rain and snow. They range from simple one-cart affairs to family tent-size covered areas with tables and plastic stools, to massive barrack-sized outside I am taking the meeting at our Corps! This is worrying me. I have never been through a time like this, and hope I never do again.

I also read that usually God has a purpose for you during this time. It doesn't feel that way right now I can tell you. But I really do hope that's the case, because I want to learn something from all this that will be positive. One of the things that has been annoying and fuelling this time is the increasingly strained atmosphere between my officer and me (as CSM). There is no communication; she never asks my advice or brings Corps related decisions to me; and it seems I'm there to make her ministry look good.

So, I've made a decision: after the meeting on Sunday, and when the officer returns from her break, I will hand in my commission as CSM and remove myself from uniformed status. This sets me back three years, but I really think this is what she is trying to accomplish in many ways. It's a sad time, but it has to be done for my own sanity if nothing else. I love the people in the Corps and it breaks my heart to do this. I really felt things were going well between us, but it seems that power corrupts.

If you pray, then please remember me in those prayers this coming week or two. I really need them.

ou pray, then please remember me in those prayers this coming week or two. I really need them.