Well, it's official: I'm quitting my job next month.

Yesterday afternoon I asked Mr. Lee, the human resources fellow, what was going to happen, since I AM going to both weddings and WILL be gone for a month. "Will I have to quit my job?" I asked.

He asked back, "Okay, if you have to choose between going to the U.S. for a month and staying with this job, which one would you choose?"

I thought for a second and said, "I need to go to these weddings. I want to go to these weddings, they're important to me."

So he asked his boss again, and I went back to my desk, and a few minutes later he approached my desk with an apologetic expression on his face. "I'm sorry," he said, "but you cannot be gone for four weeks."

I absorbed this. I felt an odd mixture of guilt, as if I'd disappointed someone, and anxiety, since I hadn't prepared myself mentally to give notice that day. "Okay," I said. "I guess that's that, then. Can I work until I leave next month, then? Til the 9th?"

"Sure! Of course!" he hastily replied. "Actually, why don't you work the 15th, too, that way you can get paid for Chusok [Korean Thanksgiving]."

He looked so uncomfortable and uneasy, I tried to reassure him, "I'm sorry I'm causing you stress. It's okay, I understand."

I left the office a few minutes later and bumped into him going downstairs at the same time, heading out for a smoke, no doubt because he is now going to have to find someone new for my position and is a bit stressed about it. On the way out of the building, he asked, "Do you smoke?"

For some reason I was about to say no, but I caught myself and said, "Sometimes."

He offered me a very thin cigarette and we stood outside the building's front doors, smoking away. He still looked disconsolate -- whether from having to deliver bad news or from having to deal with hiring someone new, I don't know.

"You couldn't go for just five or six days?" he asked.

"Um, no, the weddings are three weeks apart, and it would be really expensive to fly back and forth."

"Who is getting married? Family? Friends?"

"Well, I'm part of one wedding for a friend, and the other two are also close friends."

"Are they Korean?"

"No, one's from Taiwan, another from Hong Kong --"

"Very cosmopolitan!"

"-- but they all grew up in the States."

He nodded. We smoked. The men sitting in chairs in the smoking area outside the building stole glances our way, since no women ever smoke there. (In fact, since the no-smoking-in-the-building policy went into effect a few months ago, I've heard that a couple of women smokers quit smoking, because it is quite looked-down-upon for women to smoke here. Women used to smoke in the bathrooms, but now that smokers have been relegated to the outside, they either have to face down the stares or they're SOL.)

Mr. Lee asked suddenly if I were planning to stay in Korea and get married to a Korean guy. "That's what my grandmother would like," I answered.

He nodded. "I recommend that you live in America," he said suddenly.

"Really? Why?"

"My wife is German-Korean, and she has a very hard time understanding all the nuances," he said. Even though she left Korea at age 7 and visited frequently, the 20-some years of living abroad built an unbridgeable gap in cultural understanding.

After this rather poignant glimpse into his marriage, we stood a little longer, until he suddenly suggested, "What if you came back and worked full time for a month?"

I couldn't help but laugh, even though he was being amazingly accommodating considering that I was making an unreasonable request. "I'm sorry -- thank you -- but then I couldn't go to school."

"Oh, that's right," he said, rather crestfallen.

I felt badly for laughing, and tried to reassure him again that it was really okay. "I understand the Foundation's position, don't worry. Four weeks IS a long time, it's too long. If I were working in the U.S., at a full time job, I'd never do this. But as I feel a little more free here..."

He still looked disconsolate, but at least I tried. We finished off the cigarettes, tossed them into the planter that had become a makeshift ashcan, and said goodbye.

I walked to the subway, conflicted. Maybe I was being stupid. Maybe I should offer to edit stuff via email. Maybe I wouldn't be able to find another job. AAAAGGHH.

I avoided home and went to the mall, settled down in my cafe of choice and ordered a kiwi banana shake. Then realized that today a decision had been made, for good or bad, that was going to shake up my life here quite a bit. So I ordered a slice of chocolate mousse cake.

While eating that chocolatey goodness (probably the best choco-foodstuff I've eaten here to date), I ruminated and felt anxious and tried to calm myself down and angsted a little more and told myself to shut up. Then my phone rang. It was my dad.

"So I interviewed someone for the biology teacher position at the school," he said, "and I mentioned that you were looking for editing jobs, and the woman said that she has some essays to be edited, one which needs editing right away."

"Thanks, Dad!" I smiled into the phone. "Wow! That's great."

"You're welcome," he answered. "What do they say? 'If you knock, the door will be opened'? I think there's probably a lot of opportunities out there like this. You probably would make more money this way anyway, with fewer hours."

"That's good," I said, "'cause today I found out that I'm definitely quitting next month."

"Oh yeah?" he said. "Okay, well, let's look into this."

I finished my chocolate mousse cake feeling a little better. My dad, man. He gets things done.
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"June 16. In response to a sudden surge of kidnappings for ransom by people desperate to clear credit card debts, the national Police Agency kicks off a 100-day campaign aimed at cracking down on serious crimes. The campaign, which is set to last until Sept. 24, will focus on kidnapping, human trafficking, loan sharking, organized crime rings and armed robbery."
- "Chronology of Major Events (June 1, 2003-July 31, 2003)," Korea Focus

Just finished editing the Chronology, and couldn't help but share the above with you. Credit card debt is becoming a huge problem here, as in the U.S., but I haven't heard of many Americans turning to kidnapping as a solution. I have a feeling the bankruptcy laws in Korea aren't as forgiving.

And also: ..."a 100-day campaign aimed at cracking down on serious crimes"? That strongly reminds me of the "Drug-free zone" sign on the steps of the Adams school, which I lived next to in DC. Like, only on school grounds are drugs not allowed -- but hey, come to my house, we can freebase there! Likewise, kidnappers, human traffickers, loan sharks, organized crime lords and armed robbers better watch out -- until Sept. 24, that is, when you can return to your regularly scheduled criminal activities with impunity.

I will miss learning about Korea, which I'm forced to do in this job. Then again, I think the articles are available on the web.