Again stayed up til 4 am last night, first finishing up a perfectly hellacious editing job (computer science thesis -- something about transcoding multimedia streams to mobile terminals -- don't know WTF it was about but did earn about $100 for it) and then reading absolutely worthless trash on the internet. Came home from work around 4 pm and slept for an hour or two before going to taekwondo, which was difficult today, as my body said, "We are TIRED. Give us REST. Stop staying up til dawn, you FREAK."

At work, the human resources fellow gave me a nasty shock when he called and said that the higher ups were probably NOT going to approve my leave for next month (in order to hit both One Armed Maggie's and Dave/Steph's weddings, I need to be gone about 4 weeks), since I have already taken so much leave during my 10 months there. He said he'd ask his supervisor again when the supervisor came back from vacation.

Distracted by someone hovering over my desk, I just said, "Okay, thanks," and hung up. But when I thought about it later, my admitted sleep-deprived and therefore addled brain came up with this thought: "Huh. They're not going to let me take the time off. Huh. Well FUCK 'EM! I need this stupid job like a hole in my head."

At this point, the rest of Parliament began shouting, and the head voice started banging her gavel, trying to bring order. A voice cried out: "But it's a stable job, it's a well-paying job, it's a cush job, it's a sought-after job, and it's a JOB, for cryin' out loud. How are you going to live without a source of income, you twit?"

"First of all, it's a DEAD-END job, I HATE correcting the same shit over and over, and really, what's the point of hanging on to a job just for security if it's not fulfilling you in any way?" The original voice began walking around, looking at all the other voices in the gallery, talking as she went. "Is this what life is about? Is fear our chauffeur? I thought better of us." She stopped. "Really, not getting approval for leave and being forced to actually quit this life-force-sucking position might be the best thing that's happened to us in a while. Because we are too content to just slither everyday to this job, unfulfilling and boring as it is, and not explore other options -- options that WE WANTED to try out before we got sling-shot into this cushy position. What happened to our plans of trying teaching again, to see if that's a career we wanted to pursue? Or trying out the freelance lifestyle? What happened to our nerve? Our courage? Our desire to try new things?"

She looked around. "This could be the kick in the ass we've been waiting for," she said, eyes bright and a slight smile on her lips.

There was silence. The voices advocating security and comfort and inertia and fear and status quo got a thoughtful look on their faces. The voices of doubt and indecision and wavering started looking less constipated and more cheerful.

The voice in the center of the room saw the idea taking hold. "The office is right," she said unexpectedly. "We HAVE taken a LOT of time off. They're perfectly in their rights to deny us the leave time next month. But," she continued, "we've got the right to leave. We've got the right to say to ourselves, 'These weddings are important to us and we choose to go to them, and we are NOT AFRAID," she suddenly roared, turning around in a perfect Hollywood courtroom move. "We are not afraid," in a more hushed tone, "to take chances."

Someone began to clap. Then someone else. Soon the gallery was full of noise, but this time, not the querulous tones of voices cowed by fear, but the joyous sounds of courage taking root.

The end.
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Well, in the movie, I'd be completely swayed and put in my notice tomorrow and find my dream job and vocation the next day, at which a beautiful, sweet, intelligent, progressive, funny man just happens to work as well. HowEVER. I'm not convinced quite yet, though I did enjoy being carried away up there. I have been bored with this job for a while, and the perks, while nice, aren't really worth the dead-end, no-brainer nature of the position. So it may be a good thing, getting denied approval, because I am going to the weddings. Between such a job and seeing three dear friends get hitched, there ain't no contest.