I learned from a coworker today that the assistant director of human resources didn't put up my leave date on the company intranet, so it's a good bet that no one other than the three people I told knows that the day after tomorrow is my last. Which is damn awkward, 'cause who announces their own departure? A task best left to others, or an anonymous note on the company bulletin board.

I'm guessing that since I've had two other "quit" dates in the past two years, after which I ended up coming back to the company, the human resources guy didn't want to prematurely announce my quit date this time. But really, this is truly and seriously my last day! No coming back! Forget the last two times I said that -- I really mean it this time!

In just over two days I'll be in Japan. I've done so little preparation, it's not funny. I'm going to the bank and Insadong tomorrow to get gifts for people, and that's pretty much it. Oh well. Since Maiko and Mayu are going to be holding my hand throughout the trip, there's little stress involved. Except the anticipation of the 100-degree weather in Kyoto. I'm melting already.

For the past couple days, I've had dinner and hung out for the evening with Korean speakers, which has tired me out. Thinking and speaking in Korean still requires a lot of effort, but I've reached the point where I can understand someone who's not speaking simply for my behalf. Or at the point where I can pretend to understand everything and get away with it.

On Monday I had a beer with a history of science professor for whom I did some editing work (which paid for my new glasses!). I must admit, listening to him talk about going here and there for conferences, and the work he's doing as part of a committee that will recommend whether to pursue stem cell research in Korea made me wonder all over again why I am going to law school. But that's old hat.

I'm all over the place today, but a week or so of not sleeping well will do that to you. It's the old triumverate again: heat, light, noise. Oh, and mosquitoes. I have a habit of going to sleep late, these days around 2 am. Because of the heat, I keep the door and window open these days. My great-aunt wakes up around 4:30 am, so I do too. I go back to sleep, closing the door, but two hours later wake up panting because it's stifling in the room. I open the door, shove earplugs in and put a sleep mask on, but reliably wake up two hours later for no discernible reason other than my mind's secret ambition to drive itself mad. But I've found you out now, you terrible schemer you, and I'll beat you at your own game!

These days I find myself looking at westerners on the street with a strange longing. It's been over nine months since I've been in a country where the natural hair color of all the inhabitants within isn't black, and the natural eye color not brown. I miss diversity. I miss looking at diversity.

However right or wrong the decision to go to law school is, I know I'm ready for a change. I can't stand my job anymore, as cush as it is, and I'd like to be back in an English-speaking country for a while.

Thinking about it that way makes me feel better.