Apology to my fashion stylists

They were marvelous. They formulated strategy in the stores we should approach. They tirelessly picked out pants, shirts, coats, and sweaters. They appraised, critiqued, advised, relented, encouraged, shepherded, and approved. They were the Js. My sisters-in-law.

But I can't do it. I just can't keep the white shirt.

It's a simple piece of clothing. As they all said, everyone needs one. Caroline Herrerra, J1 reminded me, only wears crisp white button downs -- they are classic, stylish, flattering, and simple.

We had already looked at Brooks Brothers, and nixed the no-iron white shirt there as not quite well-fitting enough. And now, at Bloomingdales, they oohed and ahhed over the plain white shirt I had put on. Bowing to my experts, I brought it to the counter with a pair of black pants and pulled out my card. The total came up: $383.

"Whuh!? huh? uh ... whoa," I said. "How much IS that shirt?"

"A hundred and eighty-five," the bored sales associate said.

I imagine my eyes bugged out like a cartoon character. And so I turned to J1 and J2 and asked, "$185 for a white shirt that I have to alter?"

"It'll be five bucks to alter the sleeves," J1 advised.

"Yes," J2 said firmly. And wisely added, "Just get it now, and you can always return it. But if you want it later and you don't get it now, you'll never find it again."

So ... I did it.

But then my card didn't go through. And the sales associate gave major attitude. And my credit card company said there was a security hold on my account (later revealed to be the fault of the sales associate, who had too hastily run the card and mistakenly rung up the sale twice, which automatically triggered my anti-fraud protection).

At the end of the adventure, J2 looked deep into my eyes and said, "hk. Promise me that you'll take the shirt home. Try it on. Think about it. It really is a great shirt."

"Okay," I promised.

But I just can't do it. I hang my head in sorrow at my inability to live the good life. Ach! The shame!

I'm sorry, fashion stylists! The cheapness - she is too strong. I must submit. The shirt ... it must go back ... to its real home -- Bloomie's.