Late Saturday night, after a fabulous dinner of shabu shabu (thinly sliced beef cooked briefly in boiling water at the table -- a Japanese dish), I came home and turned on the TV to find Return of the Jedi being broadcast. Dubbed in Korean.

Last week, the same channel had broadcast Empire Strikes Back (hands down the best of the trilogy), so I guess they were running a Saturday night Star Wars series. No complaints here; I used to love love LOVE the trilogy as a kid. I mean, words cannot express how much I loved Star Wars.

As I watched Return this weekend, I reconfirmed that Mark Hamill cannot act. Neither can Carrie Fisher. And Harrison Ford, though the least egregious of the main characters, was really not very good either. Come to think of it, the non-human characters were the best actors: Anthony Daniels -- besides deserving a special award for wearing a tin suit in the middle of Tunisia -- imbued 3-PO with more humanity than Hamill, Fisher, or Ford.

The writing speaks for itself. I really shouldn't have been so surprised that Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones were so horrendous -- the original three were terrible as well! And yet, perhaps because I watched the original three as a child, they have a magic to them that shines even through the bad writing and the wooden acting. Who didn't want to be Luke, or Leia, or Han? Save the universe, meet your father/brother/love of your life, and hang out with good friends at the same time?

(Aside: It's rare for me these days to feel anything close to the wonder, the feeling of being absolutely taken away by a film or other piece of art. I think my over-the-top reaction to Wonderful Days a few weeks ago was because I hadn't felt that kind of raw amazement and total absorption for years -- where you walk around afterwards in a daze, because you don't want the rush to end, you don't want to return. I know it's partly a function of becoming an adult, and living in the world of rationalism and taxes and responsibility. But -- hot daaamn! I'd forgotten how it feels to be swept away. I wish it were easier to access. Is this why people take drugs? End aside.)

The dubbing was the funny thing. Having seen the movie so many times before, I knew the dialogue and could translate it even when I didn't understand the actual Korean words. But the really amusing thing was that Luke Skywalker actually sounded better as a Korean. Why? Because if you recall, Mark Hamill cannot act, first of all, and second, his voice, while not as squawky and adolescent as in Star Wars: The New Hope, still has a whiny quality about it, especially when raised. Since Korean starring roles for action heroes are all played by manly men, Hamill's voice was replaced by a deeper, richer Korean one. Which sounded, frankly, more like what a mature Jedi should sound like.

Princess Leia's voice, however, suffered in the dubbing process. Whereas Carrie Fisher is not, as we agreed earlier, a good actress, her voice in Return had a rich, husky, sardonic quality utterly missing in the dubbed version. Her Korean voice was, like all Korean dubs of women's roles, higher, softer and hella annoying. In line with Korean social standards, the Korean Princess Leia used the respectful form of speech toward her male counterparts, which of course the American -- er, Alderaanian Princess Leia would have sooner kissed a Wookie than have done. (Ooh, awful sentence. But you see my point.)

Han Solo sounded pretty much the same, as Harrison Ford owns a nice, deep, rumbly sort of voice.

Threepio, funny enough, made a very good Korean, as he sounded just like a fretful, crabby Korean ajumma (older woman).